I can't believe She's Breeding!

I recently purchased some vitamin E soft gels to aid in the pain that are my stretch marks. If you cut these pills open you can extract the vitamin E oil and directly apply it. I was not informed vitamin E in this form is sticky like honey, found that out for myself ...yes the hard way.
OK fine.
Went to sleep like that, will just deal with it in the morning. My skin felt great when I woke up, but I decided sticky PJ's were not for me.
I returned the rest of the pills to the store where I had purchased them, and explained my situation. Somehow even WITH a receipt she could only issue me store credit (whatever). I told her I would like to purchase a mattress cover for the crib and if I could just do an exchange and pay the difference I would go get the cover and be right back. When I return with my cover, she asks me
" You were putting these on your skin?"
me "yes"
her "these are pills, you're supposed to swallow them"
(I could not make this up if I tried)
me " yes thank you, you can also cut them open and get the vitamin E out that way to put it on your skin"
her "oh!"
I am not sure if she thought I was just rubbing pills on my stomach or what. I am sure she was mighty concerned that I was breeding and in the process of getting to raise a child and let it loose into civilization.